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Therapy for Perfectionism and People-Pleasing
Let go of the pressure. Start living for you.
You don’t have to keep proving your worth
You’ve always been the dependable one—the overachiever, the helper, the one who gets things done and doesn’t make waves. You work hard, care deeply, and strive to do everything just right. On the outside, you seem capable and composed. But underneath the praise is a relentless pressure to keep it all together and never let anyone down.
The constant striving, the overthinking, the need to please others—it’s exhausting. You second-guess yourself, hold yourself to impossible standards, and worry about disappointing others. Even when you succeed, the relief never lasts, because soon enough there’s another task, another expectation, another person to keep happy. You spend so much energy anticipating what others need, trying not to upset, and pushing yourself past your limits—often at the expense of your own well-being.
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the pressure to meet impossibly high standards, where even small mistakes feel like failures. It’s marked by rigid, “flawless” goals and placing excessive demands on yourself (and sometimes others).
It can show up in many areas of life, often without you realizing it:
Work or school: Pushing yourself to over-deliver on every task, triple-checking details to avoid criticism, or hesitating to take risks unless you know you’ll succeed.
Relationships: Replaying conversations, over-apologizing, or putting others’ needs first to keep the peace.
Appearance: Criticizing how you look, spending extra time getting “put together,” or comparing yourself to others.
Daily life: Needing things organized “just right,” getting upset when plans change, or feeling guilty when you rest.
What is people-pleasing?
People-pleasing goes beyond being kind—it’s when keeping others happy or avoiding conflict comes at the expense of your own needs and well-being. Over time, it can leave you feeling drained, resentful, or unsure of who you are outside of others’ expectations.
It can show up in many areas of life:
Work or school: Saying yes when you’re overwhelmed, avoiding sharing ideas, or taking on more than your share.
Relationships: Struggling to set boundaries, over-apologizing, or agreeing to things you don’t want to do.
Appearance or behavior: Changing how you act, dress, or speak to be liked or accepted.
Daily life: Putting everyone else first, feeling guilty when you say no, or overthinking how others might react.
If you struggle with perfectionism or people-pleasing, you might recognize yourself in patterns like:
Putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own — often without even noticing
Believing your value depends on being useful, agreeable, or accomplished
Saying yes automatically, even when it costs you your time, energy, or peace
Feeling like “good enough” isn’t an option — you always have to do more
Holding yourself to impossible standards and feeling like a failure when you fall short
Procrastinating or avoiding tasks because the pressure to do them perfectly feels overwhelming
Walking on eggshells to prevent conflict, rejection, or disapproval
Holding back your real thoughts or feelings to keep the peace or protect how others see you
Feeling anxious that setting boundaries will push people away
Judging yourself harshly for things you’d easily forgive in others
How We’ll Work together
Our work begins by understanding—not shaming—the parts of you that strive to be perfect, avoid conflict, or take care of everyone else first. These patterns didn’t come out of nowhere—they likely helped you feel safe, accepted, or valued. But over time, they’ve likely become rigid and draining, and hard to let go of.
In therapy, we’ll look underneath those patterns at the beliefs that drive them: the rules that tell you rest is laziness, that saying no makes you selfish, or that your worth depends on never letting anyone down. You’ll start to notice how those rules show up in your daily life—and begin to experiment with more flexible, compassionate ways of responding.
Through reflection and parts work, you’ll reconnect with the parts of you that learned to perform and please, and begin giving them what they truly need. Over time, you’ll practice making space for rest, self-trust, boundaries, and healthier striving—not because you’ve earned it, but because you deserve it.
Therapy for perfectionism & People Pleasing can help you…
Stop living by everyone else’s rules
Untangle from the pressure to meet expectations and start identifying what you actually want—your values, your limits, your voice.
Stop people-reading & start self-listening
Instead of constantly scanning others for cues of approval or disappointment, turn inward and learn to trust your own signals.
Reclaim emotional energy
When you're no longer trying to get everything “just right,” you make room for rest, creativity, and relationships that feel mutual—not draining.
Break free from the performative cycle
Drop the mask of perfection and connect with people as your real, messy, imperfect self—the one who doesn’t have to work hard to earn love.
Say no and mean it
Set clear boundaries without overexplaining or shrinking yourself. You’re allowed to take up space—even when others don’t like it.
Let go of over-functioning
Learn to step back without spiraling into guilt. You don’t have to carry everything or manage everyone else’s emotions to feel worthy.
I want you to know:
Change is possible.
Let’s work together to help you step out of the pressure—and into a life that feels more like your own.
Questions?
FAQs
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That’s a very real fear. When you start setting boundaries or expressing your needs, some people may push back. But that discomfort often leads to greater clarity—about which relationships are supportive, and how to stay true to yourself while still being connected.
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You won’t. Perfectionism is often fear in disguise—fear of failure, rejection, or not being good enough. When we soften those fears, what emerges isn’t laziness, but purposeful motivation. You’ll still be driven—but in a way that’s sustainable and aligned with your values.
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Not at all. Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re including yourself in the equation. Healthy relationships are rooted in balance, not self-sacrifice.
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Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation with me. If we determine we’re a good fit to address your concerns, we’ll get you booked for your first appointment and get started!
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